* Edit: OU PAS
It does not look like the best day for a birthday. This is but not something one can choose, so we'll celebrate nonetheless, against all odds, we'll gently smile through the drizzle, we'll try to lighten our heavy hearts.
Back in the early days, there seemed to be a blackout and infinite void beyond a certain point, the end of a cycle. It is finally not true. New perspectives always spring up, to the image of stairs, or boards, gathering under the feet of someone walking above a bottomless pit, navigating by sight in relative darkness, cautiously going forward as there's no other way, step by step.
But back in the early days, there had been wonderful days for a birthday, which for once felt like true days of birth. A long way to here and now, from first words to deep, so much it sometimes hurt, entwinement. Memories still clear and neat a few months ago have strangely vanished, and I cannot any longer get a recollection of these first moments, now resting as dried flowers in an album. A lot of things along these have lost their emotional load. Perhaps for the better.
Looking back to the time past, it feels slightly like would feel an actor used to play a role and suddenly thrown into the real life in that very role, much different that he expected. That's the real thing. Looking back to the naive marvelling of before, it now just blows up the mind. If you thought that was it before, oh so wrong you were.
Life is ever-mutating, from one paradigm, one construction, one order of cycles to the other, to finally just be as it is.
Finally, if it isn't the best day for a birthday, it really feels like a birth day.
* Edit: OU PAS